TopGoblinSatirical startup card game
Global boardShared deck #731927
Due Diligence, the final auditor

Final audit

Due Diligence

Builds your report after 7 decisions
Live estimated valuation$38,720
S-grade target$170K
Reach the target with Tech Debt below 40.
$
Runway$10,000
U
Users12
H
Hype8
D
Tech debt0
S
Sanity82
Decision 01 / 7

Reach the valuation. Survive the audit.

Founder traitDraft after decision 2Traits change how later cards behave.
A startup card game, not business advice

Reach $170k. Survive seven bad decisions.

Keep Runway above $0, Tech Debt below 58, and Sanity above 25. Build a founder strategy, trigger card combos, and make Due Diligence regret opening the books.

This opens your first three choices and activates SFX.
  1. 01 · Runway + sanityKeep it alive.

    Keep both above water. If either collapses, the ending gets ugly fast.

  2. 02 · Users + hypeLook expensive.

    More users and hype make the valuation look gloriously unreasonable.

  3. 03 · Tech debtBury the bodies.

    Debt subtracts value and can bring Due Diligence forward.

Green helpsRed hurts
Same shared deck for everyone. No email signup; claim one public username.
Free browser strategy game

Build a startup. Inflate the story. Survive the audit.

TopGoblin is a satirical startup simulator played through seven strategy-card decisions. Every choice changes Runway, Users, Hype, Tech Debt, and Sanity. Growth can make the valuation look heroic, but an empty bank account, a broken founder, or a dangerous codebase gives Due Diligence plenty to punish in the final audit.

A startup card game with shared rules

Each round deals three actions from the global deck. Pick one, accept its complete effect, and continue until all seven decisions are filed. Limited free redraws let you discard a terrible hand. Everyone faces the same global modifier, making verified results comparable even when the business logic is gloriously dubious.

One permanent global leaderboard

Your best verified valuation can enter the all-time Top 20. The ranking does not reset daily: a better run replaces your personal best, ties favor the earliest filing, and the highest positions carry live badges. Optional extra runs, redraw tokens, and openly disclosed stat bribes make the pay-to-win joke part of the game.