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topgoblinSeven decisions. One final audit.
TopGoblin is a browser startup simulator with strategy-card and roguelike mechanics. Build the highest valuation you can without destroying the company—or the founder—before Due Diligence arrives.
How a TopGoblin run works
The first three ranked runs are free. Each run uses the shared global deck, lasts exactly seven decisions, and ends with a server-verified valuation.
Choose one card
Every decision deals three cards. Compare their stat effects, active-modifier triggers, threshold warnings, and estimated Audit impact before committing one.
Balance the company
Grow Users and Hype while protecting Runway and Sanity. Keep Tech Debt low enough that the story survives inspection.
Face Due Diligence
Every choice receives an audit memo. After decision seven, the boss explains the final valuation, ending, strongest decision, weakest decision, and complete paper trail before filing the verified score.
The five stats that decide your valuation
- Runway: cash available to keep the startup alive. More is safer.
- Users: adoption and traction. Real or suspicious, they improve the story.
- Hype: attention, momentum, and investor-grade excitement.
- Tech Debt: shortcuts waiting to become expensive. Unlike every other stat, lower is better.
- Sanity: the founder's remaining ability to make decisions that resemble judgment.
The live valuation is calculated as Runway + (Users × 740) + (Hype × 1,250) − (Tech Debt × 980) + (Sanity × 120), never below zero. An S-grade requires at least $170,000 with Tech Debt below 40. Other ending thresholds can override a high score.
Hands, redraws, and the global modifier
- Every round presents three startup decision cards.
- A hand change discards all three cards and deals three replacements for the current decision.
- Each run includes a limited number of free hand changes and a per-decision redraw cap.
- Mulligan tokens can fund additional redraws after the free allowance is exhausted.
- The active global modifier affects everyone. Vibe Coder, for example, amplifies Hype while creating extra Tech Debt.
- A modifier trigger is shown on the card and itemized again in the post-decision audit memo.
- Card choices and redraw counts are replayed by the server before a result is accepted.
Extra runs and paid boosts
- The first three ranked runs are free for each player.
- Goblin Audit credits unlock additional runs; Audit Packs contain multiple credits.
- Due Diligence Bribes can directly improve selected stats and intentionally make the game pay to win.
- The interface shows available credits and the number of paid boosts used during the current run.
- Payments use Stripe Checkout. Credits are granted only after a successful payment is verified.
- Purchases improve a game state; they do not represent ownership, equity, investment returns, or a real company valuation.
Permanent global leaderboard
- The leaderboard displays the global Top 20.
- Only each player's highest verified score appears.
- The ranking does not reset every 24 hours.
- Ties go to the score filed first.
- Rank #1 becomes Top Goblin; #2 is the Golden Grifter; #3 is the Bronze Baron; ranks #4–#10 join the Pit Elite.
- A badge follows the current rank and can be lost when another founder posts a better valuation.
Fairness, identity, and permanence
- Usernames are unique and limited to safe public characters.
- A paid attempt can be completed once; browser navigation cannot reuse the same reserved run.
- Checkout recovery is idempotent, so refreshing a success page cannot grant the same purchase twice.
- Paid bribes are disclosed on leaderboard records instead of being presented as clean runs.
- TopGoblin is entertainment and satire, not business, financial, investment, or legal advice.
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Start your free run